January 5 – A Multifaceted Heart of Kindness

Dear Friends,

Continuing today with the talk on “The Brahma Viharas for Insight and Wisdom,” this time sharing some of Jill’s imagery when talking about the the many ways a kind heart can be expressed and respond wisely in the world.

As Jill mentions, through our meditation practice, we can use a range of techniques to help make the heart qualities of kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity become more and more the default settings.

This group of four qualities is traditionally called the Brahma Viharas – and the “vihara” part means home. I like Jill’s reminder:

These four states are true home, a refuge for our hearts and minds. And they’re also the natural expression of our hearts and minds when they’re not assailed by stress distress and difficulty. This is where our hearts and minds naturally abide and dwell. And there is a sense of ease there just as there is with our physical home there a place or a state where we can feel relaxed and comfortable, and who we truly are.

In explaining these four qualities, Jill brings in some bird analogies, which I find useful to get a felt sense of each. So I’ll share those along with a brief word or two about each quality.

The first quality, traditionally called metta, and often translated as loving kindness, or goodwill, benevolence, friendliness – or simply non-ill-will. As we train in this skill, we want to start gradually, where it is easiest. You might have a dear person in mind, but people can be complicated! So Jill and other teachers have suggested thinking of an animal (a pet, or wild animals like squirrels, deer, etc.). Jill talks about the American Robins she encountered:

There were a few times when I noticed an American Robin just sort of darting through the bushes. At the top of the track there. And there was something about seeing its orange breast and its darting movements and that very bright, alert beady eye that it had, that I found this little spontaneous pulse of warmth – and I silently thanked it for giving me that hit of metta.

… Perhaps you have your own favorite bird that you may have seen around here. And as you bring that bird memory to mind, perhaps you might feel just a little flicker of warmth at the heart center. Perhaps a slight smile, softening of the eyes.

If you do feel that, let it register as just a flicker of metta.

And if you don’t feel that, don’t worry, maybe birds just aren’t your thing. Perhaps some other wild or domestic creature is. … So whatever you can find that works for you to develop that trace of metta.

For me, I can think of my dogs, or the geese at Anglin Lake, or the deer at the Lost Coast.

What sparks a warm feeling of kindness for you?

When the heart imbued with kindness encounters suffering, it can naturally respond with compassion (traditionally called karuna). Compassion is a willingness to turn towards pain or distress in its many forms, and to meet that pain with kindness and wherever possible to help it release.

Jill distinguishes between the two: “to me, metta is more of a generalized goodwill, or friendliness, whereas compassion is specifically oriented towards pain towards suffering. There is a close connection between the two, but energetically compassion can feel a little different.”

To illustrate compassion in action, she talks about this YouTube video of a bird whose feet are frozen to a metal railing, and how a person gently calms, warms, then frees the bird – from this heart of compassion.
https://youtu.be/SRm3bpYO-fk

The poem “Set Free” by Dianna MacKinnon Henning has a similar arc of rescuing a trapped bird.

How does it feel to watch the video, hear Jill’s telling of the the story, or read the poem? Can you sense how compassion might feel different from friendliness?

The third quality of heart is mudita, often translated as sympathetic joy, altruistic joy, or appreciative joy. This is a joy you feel when someone else is experiencing good fortune. Again, with other people, this one can be tricky because it can easily fall into “why them and not me?” (The person who wins the lottery; the co-worker who gets the promotion; etc.)

Fortunately, this is a practice, so we start where we are, and we can be inspired, as Jill says, “As we continue to cultivate this quality of mudita, our sense of separation of isolation and lack can start to diminish. We feel more connected to others, kinder and more generous.”

The bird analogy she shares here is when she saw people on retreat a center in Massachusetts, they could sit quietly on a veranda, with some bird seed, and the local chickadees would hop on their hand to eat. Jill says, “And when I would see this I would feel mudita, not just for the bird that was getting fed in winter, but also for the human who was offering that moment of delight and receiving that moment of delight from the contact with the chickadee.”

I feel a similar sense of delight when I see pictures of friends or their children feeding chickadees. Or when I’m visiting my mom and she sees the partridges pecking for food under the evergreen in her front yard – there’s such delight in that connection.

Can you think of some joyous event like this? How does your heart resonate with that?

The fourth quality, traditionally called upekkha, and often translated as equanimity, conveys a sense of balance of mind, evenness, stability, or composure. I like the description as a grandparental love – the grandparent who can watch the grandchild play, cry, play again – and not get ruffled in the same way that a parent might. There’s a sense of having the bigger picture, and not getting gripped by reactivity.

Jill’s bird analogy is of a turkey vulture. “When you see them flying really high. To me they have that association with being really high up and being able to see the bigger picture. So, hopefully it’s not too much of a stretch but the turkey vulture was the symbol for equanimity because it connects with that sense of spaciousness the vastness of the sky. And that vastness can put our own small struggles into perspective.”

I can feel into that sense of equanimity when I think of the first time I had a second dog. A year after adopting Kaydee, my first ever dog, my partner and I adopted Roz. I was a relatively new dog owner and didn’t know much about dog dynamics. When Roz first came to the house, we introduced her to Kaydee. And then they started to growl and snarl and go after each other. I thought there was something wrong! So we had a dog trainer we did classes with come over and watch – and she gave us that big picture view of how the two dogs were seeing each other, and how to respond with out reactivity. And she was right – it wasn’t long after that Kaydee and Roz became inseparable friends.

Can you think of an example being with that bigger perspective, with a graceful responsiveness? How does that feel?

We will look at each of these in more detail in the days ahead.

One way to practice with these four is to notice the feeling in the heart/body, as we did with the reflections above, abide there, and allow it to extend out to others as if radiating like a lamp.

Here’s a recording of guided meditation from Ayya Anandabodhi that you could try: Guided Meditation On The Four Brahma Viharas
https://www.dharmaseed.org/talks/49513/

If that style of practice doesn’t resonate this time, no worry – we’ll bring in other practices too.

Wishing you a day of heartfulness,
Andrea