January 18 – Self-compassion

Dear Friends,

Like many of you, I wake up in the morning and read the email that was sent out… I have a little friend who reads it with me, and it tells me lots of things… “That email sucked. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re a terrible writer. You forgot to add this in. You should just quit.” And on, and on, … I know I’m not the only one to have a self-critic that hangs around! It’s painful and difficult.

Diana Winston talks about dealing with self-criticism with self-compassion:

The opposite of self-criticism is self-compassion. … self-compassion combines mindfulness, loving-kindness, and a sense of shared humanity. Cultivating loving-kindness provides an antidote to these voices of self-criticism. Your mindfulness practice, together with the loving-kindness you cultivate, can help to create more self-compassion. These practices are a healing balm for the contemporary epidemic of self-hatred. In my view, loving-kindness has the capacity to change the very ground of who you are—from doubtful and self-hating to kind and accepting of yourself.

Fully Present, The Science, Art, and Practice of Mindfulness, chapter 7 – by Susan L. Smalley, Diana Winston

Diana led a session on self-compassion Worldwide Insight (now Sangha Live) in 2017, which included a guided meditation, talk, and responses to questions. You can watch or listen to the recording here:
https://sangha.live/dharma-library/cultivating-self-compassion/

In Diana’s talk, she references Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the area of self-compassion. Kristin has a website full of many useful resources. Here are a few:

• Test how self-compassionate you are:
  https://self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are/
• The Physiology of Self-Compassion
  https://self-compassion.org/the-physiology-of-self-compassion/
• Self-Compassion Guided Meditations and Exercises
  https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/
• TEDx Talk – The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4
• Book: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
  https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-kristin-neff/

Self-compassion is something I’m still working on. And maybe you too. I wish you peace and ease in this moment.

Warm wishes,
Andrea