January 13 – May this pain release

By | January 13, 2022

Dear Friends,

Continuing with Jill’s talk on Compassion, Karuna, today we turn the ways to practice compassion, what sort of obstacles might arise, and how to work with them.

One of the ways we can practice developing compassion is through the repetition of phrases. Jill give us her four phrases, and explains what each phrase means for her.

I’m aware of this pain.
I care about this pain.
May this pain release.
May I know peace.

She suggests we can shorten these phrases to aware, care, release, peace.

Here’s how Jill explains what significance the phrases have for her:

“I’m aware of this pain” – This is an invitation to turn towards suffering. And we might see resistance – nope, don’t want to look at that. Seeing the resistance is useful too, because it helps us see where we are tight. Jill also reminds us that wisdom is needed here – sometimes we may discern that now is not the right time to turn to this, and it would be better to do something to soothe and strengthen instead.

“I care about this pain.” – Now that we have turned to the pain, how do we respond? Do we want to shrink back, or do we want to rush in and fix things? Noticing any resistance, and determining, with wisdom, if we can stretch here a bit into care or if there is too much resistance that it’s cultivating aversion.

We can’t stay tucked into our safe cocoon the whole time. So we can titrate – turn towards the suffering or stress just for a few seconds – then turn back to resource until we’re ready to try again. Resourcing can include grounding back into the breath or body (e.g. feeling the feet on the ground, or taking in the room), turning towards metta, perhaps by bringing our benefactors and loved ones to mind, as we did in DaRa’s practice, or maybe even taking a break and having a soothing cup of tea. As Jill says, the point is to do whatever we choose to do with as much awareness as possible.

Last fall, I took an eight-week course in Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT). In the class, the teachers shared a diagram similar to this:

Three ovals overlaid - the inner oval says "Safety", the middle oval says "Learning", the outer oval says "Overwhelm"

This relates to what I hear Jill saying about this idea of stretching our boundaries, just a little, to leave the safety zone and get to the learning zone. But we don’t want to push too far so we fall into overwhelm. Bringing our mindful attention to our body/heart/mind as we’re doing this practice will help use discern how we’re doing.

“May this pain release” – This phrase can represent the action that is inherent in compassion – we don’t just notice suffering as suffering, but there’s a motivation to act – in this moment by expressing a heartfelt wish for release.

Jill mentions the image of Kuan Yin, a being who embodies compassion, sometimes known as “she who hears the cries of the world.” Some statues portray this being as half-sitting in meditation – receptive, listening – and the other half poised as though she ready to jump into action.

Jill further expands on this idea of listening in a way I found interesting: “There was a significant turning point that came when I realized that none of the Brahma Vihara practices are about trying to manufacture a particular emotion or conjure up a particular mind state. It’s actually more about listening to what’s already there.”

What’s already there might be faint, but as we practice, we become more familiar with them and can strengthen them.

“May I know peace” – Jill says this phrase reinforces the possibility of change. We can reflect on the question, What might it feel like to truly know peace?” I’ve done this as a social meditation practice, and I found it quite powerful to attune to that sense, however subtle.

Like the metta phrases, you can come up with ones that make sense for you.

Here’s a meditation from Jack Kornfield that uses some different phrases that cultivate the same compassionate heart.
https://www.dharmaseed.org/talks/66125/

There’s much more Jill brings in as part of her talk on compassion, but out of compassion for you, I’ll stop this email here.

But if you’re up for one more thing, I invite you to check this poem titled “Compassion” by Sharon Corcoran, which speaks to me of the times we’re in, and why cultivating compassion is more important than ever.

With tenderness and care,
Andrea

6 thoughts on “January 13 – May this pain release

    1. Andrea Grzesina Post author

      I first heard the poem at a recent online “thoughtshop” on Compassion that was facilitated by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer!

  1. Geralyne

    I loved this Daily Meditation with Jill Shepherd. Her discussion of the Brama Viharas answered so many questions I had about why these are so important. She says: “none of the Brahma Vihara practices are about trying to manufacture a particular emotion or conjure up a particular mind state. It’s actually more about listening to what’s already there.” The image of Kuan Yin with many ears and the importance of listening for cultivating and working with these – I found to be very interesting. Learning to listen is key. Jill’s talk on Karuna/Compassion is a great resource, embodying many key principles of the buddhist practice — and which I will listen to again.

    1. Andrea Grzesina Post author

      Thanks Geralyne – I also appreciated that line about “listening to what’s already there”. Thanks for drawing attention to that! I’m glad you’re finding the resources of use.
      If you appreciate Jill’s style, I’d encourage you to check her website and/or join her email list – she often teaches online classes, either on her own or through BCBS.
      Her website is https://jill0shepherd-insightmeditation.com/
      To subscribe to her emails: http://eepurl.com/Muk8T

      1. Geralyne

        Thanks so much. I’ll ask to receive Jill’s emails and check out her website.

  2. Roberto

    AG. ….. Intriguing.

    Each node of suffering we encounter in this vale of tears needs to be opened like a multi-dimensional Japanese wood puzzle or like the resistant petals of a tightly wound rose bud. There are a seemingly an infinite
    number of these nodes of suffering both internally and externally. How many can I take on in this time bound . hide-bound life?

    What I do know, dear Ananda , the first step you mention above is by far the hardest and the most important.

    We are living in a narcotized, anesthetized time where our overlords tell us over and over that suffering is not real. Pass the Ketchup.

    Not to be a Cassandra – I could easily list one hundred types of hidden suffering that the vast majority of my fellow travellers have not even contemplated and that they actively deny because they are instructed over and over to click LIKE and drink the pretty Kool Aid.. That is the MO of this generation of spaced out , Prozacced consumers. Denial.

    The only way to release Rumpelstiltskin from his lonely castle is to learn his name and to call it aloud. This is not as easy as it sounds. You need night vision and the ability to see clearly the forest for the trees. ( apologies for the heap metaphors )

    I liked the writing of Ms Corcoron ( not sure I call these elevated thoughts poems… but that is perhaps just me with my notions of what poetry is and is not ),

    The pandemic is the great touchstone of these times. Each and every one of us has responded in a complete unique way. The Buddha himself could not have come up with a better Litmus test1. We have been teased into isolation and have been compelled to come up with an individual response that complies or deviates.

    Amazing that a wee little virus – a strand of DNA/RNA created by warring scientists in a laboratory to weaponize disease can call us out out into the open.

    there is no right answer but the answer we give is critical and annihilating in the immediate and distant future.

    It in fact, strips off the veils of the hidden suffering mentioned above

    Bring it on.

    RND.

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