Dear Friends,
Oren Jay Sofer has previously offered a summer class on Wise Speech, which blends mindfulness and nonviolent communication.
In this summer’s class, the first week’s practice suggestions included this reflection:
Be mindful of your inner narrative. Are you aware of thinking? How do you speak to yourself? Is it truthful, kind, helpful, and appropriate?
I think there are many of us who speak to ourselves in ways that isn’t very truthful, kind, helpful, or appropriate. I’ve noticed that when my inner talk isn’t skillful, it often bubbles out and affects the way I speak to others too.
Yet, as Rosemerry writes in the following poem, “Change is hard.”
Starting Place
When all my plans have changed
and changed again, and then again,
I notice the stubborn part of me who
rails against change, who wishes plans
could go as planned. And I judge her—
judge her like I’m a ruler-smacking teacher
who shames children in front of class.
You should be more resilient, I chastise her.
You should know after fifty-some years
you will need to adjust. And these changes
are small stuff. What is wrong with you?
And I feel the animal of myself contract.If one of my friends were upset about change,
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
I’d murmur, Oh, darling, that sounds rough.
And with no effort, my voice
would unspool in silken thread.
Could I speak to myself like a darling, a friend?
Darlin’, I start, but it comes out a thick sneer,
and I add, Oh, so you’re gonna fail
compassionate self-talk, too … darlin’?
Begin again. Deep breath. Hey, darling,
are you in there? And I follow the breath
into a softening, my whole body
tuning more open, sincere. Yeah, darling,
my voice is naked now. Change is hard. I’m here.
https://ahundredfallingveils.com/2021/12/12/starting-place/
I appreciate the way she ends the poem, with “I’m here.” For me, it’s an invitation to meet ourselves with openness, sincerity, and patience on this journey to harmonious relationship with self and others.
What’s your inner narrative like? How does it affect your relationships with others?
With good wishes,
Andrea