Dear Friends,
I enjoy taking online classes related to mindfulness, meditation, and Buddhism. This fall, I took a course based on Guy Armstrong’s book Emptiness: A Practical Guide for Meditators.
In the book and course, Guy talks about his experience of observing autopsies, which he did while a monk in Thailand. After the autopsies were finished, he was waiting for his bus to go back to the monastery, and he noticed, as people walked by,
The living and the dead were so alike. The difference I perceived was that with the living, there was some kind of light that shined out through the eyes. In the dead, that light had gone out. What was that light? It seemed to me that it had something to do with consciousness …. There was a brightness of knowing — the spark of conscious experience, joined with the body — that was present in the living and not present in the dead.
In the book, Guy suggests four reflections to try – “based on the two kinds of truth: conventional designation and a more fundamental reality.” Unfortunately, I can’t find any recordings or free versions of these reflections, but I’ll give a short summary of the reflections.
Reflection 1 is based on a friend’s story. We are invited to bring to mind a friend that you know well, feel affection for, and then recall details about that person’s life situation – current joys and struggles; family situation; health; livelihood; successes and failures; personality.
Guy offers:
Reflect until you’ve brought together a comprehensive portrait of this person. Hold your friend and all this information charitably, without much judgment. Notice that a large part of what you’ve brought to mind is around the person’s past and future. This is the “conventional” view of your friend.
Then releasing this image and clearing the mind, one can begin Reflection 2, which is based on the friend in the moment. We imagine meeting this friend for the first time, and perceive them in the present moment as only body plus consciousness. He calls this the “fundamental” view. “It doesn’t depend on fabrications of memory or imagination, which are subject to many whims and vagaries.” Then he asks, “Does it feel different to see her in this way?”
Then following this second reflection, Guy invites us to notice:
Which reflection gave a lighter, freer, less constricted feeling about your friend? In which view was your friend freer to feel, move, breathe, change? Was it the usual way, the conventional way, with the additions of past and future, with prior associations and conclusions? Or was it the more fundamental, with your friend seen in her basic nature of body and consciousness? The conventional view sees in terms of a being with an assumed personality based on a continuing existence over time with past and future. The more fundamental view, … is seeing in terms of the aggregates as they are in the present moment. We are not trying to ignore your friend’s thoughts and feelings, but by framing it in this way, you can see these as impermanent and lighter.
Then for reflections 3 and 4, you repeat this process, but with yourself as the subject.
I’ll confess – while on an intellectual basis, I get what Guy is trying to have us see, I find, in an experiential way, this set of reflections doesn’t work for me. However, I know from discussions I’ve had with others who took this class, they found these reflections useful. I’d be interested in hearing what you notice, if you try this out.
Guy concludes his chapter with this distinction:
The conventional view of a human being as a single entity continuing unchanged over time does not hold up in the light of impermanence and death. …
We don’t want to hold the fundamental, or ultimate, view as superior or the conventional view as inferior. We need them both. The conventional view is useful in the realm of society, work, and relationships. The problem comes when we think that it tells the whole truth. It doesn’t. The ultimate view tells the rest of the truth, and it is the discovery of this “other half,” we might say, that frees us.
A more poetic reflection on death comes from Mary Oliver… When Death Comes, which someone made into a video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhkWTLMhk2A
I like Mary’s encouragement:
When it’s over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
May these reflection inspire you to amazement.
With warm wishes,
Andrea
What I would take from this….. there is the possibility of a loosening…. letting the history and the future undo themselves like the cords tying us so snugly to the mast …. even a little… to not be so defined by labels and stories and foregone conclusions…. but I do believe the pang and connection of love comes from knowing everything about the beloved… the shared history…. the shared dreams… the adventures…. the memories….my all too real example…. my father has advanced Alzheimer’s and does not recognize me even in his eyes…. I am a stranger…. we were best friends…. yes we can sit in the moment and be present in the now… but he does not know the moment of my birth… nor that I will be present for the moment of his death…. at that extreme of fundamental presence there is a true emptiness that precludes love…
Thank you for your comments Robbie. I’m so sorry you are losing your father this way. It is a difficult journey.
I love how you weave your words together. I appreciate the term ‘a loosening’. That is an excellent description, and to that I would add ‘freeing’. I spent much time with an aunt, a Catholic nun, and watched her progression through Alzheimer’s until the day of her death, which was many years ago. The last few years of her life, she was unrecognizable as the Aunti of old, save for a light, a grace that still surrounded her. I believe her faith bad become part of her being. She too, didn’t know who I was anymore. I had always loved her deeply and through our walk of Alzheimer’s, I eventually learned to love her again for who she was in front of me, which still did include who she had been. I felt much freer, and happier, loving her in the moment. It was a state of being that I had no words for then. But better understand now.
Oh thank you Andrea. Thank you. This was just lovely.
I appreciated the reflections you shared from Guy’s workshop; I found them quite illuminating. I gained a bit of insight into how much the narratives of the past and fears about the future affect my perceptions, both in my relationships with others and with myself. When I reflected upon my friend, using the fundamental view, I felt a burst of delight and understood more clearly why I love spending time with her. There is a considerable difference in our ages, which can limit what we do together, but she is joyful and loves to play. I saw that characteristic more clearly than in the first reflection of her, which carried with it some agism that I hadn’t quite realized. I found the fundamental reflection on myself a kinder, more positive and honest view of who I am right now. It is a view that more closely aligns with my aspirations and intentions today. Definitely the word liberated came to mind. I too, see the need for both views; I shall use this exercise to cultivate more of the fundamental view. Thanks again for this post!